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How Breaking Promises to Yourself Destroys Self Leadership

promises selfleadership Jun 17, 2021

Sometimes when you fall off the horse you don’t need to get back on, you need to get a different horse. 

 

If you keep finding yourself “failing” and #breaking promises to yourself. Stop. The more you do that, the more you prove to your system you are incapable of self-leadership. This is never true but parts of you search for justifications to overtake your system and live from fear, angst, apathy, or anger. 

 

To reinstate self-leadership you must break the pattern of breaking promises which could mean, for a time, you promise to make your bed, not clean your house. You promise to meditate for 60 seconds, not 60 minutes. You promise to pay your electric bill on time, not create a spreadsheet for tracking your finances. You scale way back. You commit to only making promises you can absolutely keep. You do this long enough to prove to your system you are trustworthy. 

 

Then, and only then, do you take a step up. A step, not a leap. Our culture is obsessed with extreme, overnight change. That’s fun and exciting but rarely sustainable. 

 

Want to learn more about how to use Internal Family Systems therapy? Get my 30 Days Program and become self aware and self led by understanding how to work with your unique, diverse, and beautiful parts!

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